YOU SEE WHAT HAPPEN WAS?

It amazes me when someone uses those beautiful responsibility absolving quotes. When is it consciously okay to do something so wrong that the explanation is “one thing led to another” or the graceful “it was in the moment? Its never” I meant to punch you or I wanted to sleep with him or her”. There is a moment in time that we know…this is the moment that I have to stop. Why do we see the ending of so many situations but carelessly venture forth into a horrible ending. The moment of pleasure outweighs the extensive time of pain.


Possibilities, the antithesis of answers, it is truly the unreasonable reasons. One of man’s greatest weaknesses is never admitting what wrong they will do under the right circumstances. We go through life with a moral constitution made of rice paper. Always ready to blame our mistakes on “the moment” all along knowing in their minds they were the architect of the mistake. Truly knowing ones self with an outward admittance has to have benefits. Acting as if “yes I am flawed” and knowing enough to say “these are my flaws.” But there in lies the true flaw, or at least the true reason for not saying it, doesn’t want to take ownership for themselves. Where is the holistic mantra of “keep your mind, body, and spirit healthy? Where is the ownership?


Is it in the cars we drive, the clothes we wear, the homes we live in? Rarely do we see it in our relationships (the divorce rate is a prime example of that) that we have. It damn sure is not in the conditions of our bodies (didn’t know that the morbidly obese would inherit the earth) that we have so freely discounted for the outer skin. It really isn’t in our mental ability (if you can’t decipher this one on your own, you’ve proven my point) that we no longer honor as the real, true, and only frontier. We live as we speak…a contradiction, lacking truth or validity. Speaking in double talk hoping no one ever gets to see our hidden agendas. And a punishment fit for a killer if someone figures it out.


But in the end it really doesn’t matter. We are already on the track to failure…and with one declaration of ownership we could turn it around. That is the tragic part of it all ownership can save us. Not a messiah, not a fitness guru, or even a good relationship with our parents. We need a healthy relationship with ourselves. No one can fix you by telling you what is wrong…HELL why tell you what you already know? But you can have help once you acknowledge the need and desire of change.

SECRETS...

Add your own lil secret to the list. Find a open number and put your secret, but don't put your name so that nobody knows your lil secret!1. im scared to fall in love 2. Sometimes I wish I was the pretty girl. 3. I'm jealous of everyone. 4. I still watch Barny. 5. I always fall for the guys that dont fall back. 6. Hi, im kimi waffles, and im a myspaceaholic. ... 7.I'm so fake it's not even funny. I hate half the people who think I loooove them. 8....and i love matt 9. I fake being sick...A LOT. 10. i hate attachment andi use guys for their bodies instead of them using me...i loooove beating them to the chase...hahaha im going to bad girl hell....plus i have been the "other" girl about 3 times 11. i could be so sad with the biggest smile on my face and the loudest laugh. 12. I have had sex with alot of guys. 13. I love a girl that parents don't approve of.... 14. I'd do anything for him. 15. I HAVE SEX EVERYDAY WITH MY ORECK VACUUMS. 16. I like to be alone because then no one can hurt me!! 17. I steal from my parents. 18. i smoke pot 19.i still l0ve my ex b0yfriend...ahh 20. She said she loved me; and I believed her. 21.im insecure about my looks i think im ugly. 22. I'm willing to lose my virginity to him when the time's right. 23. I like attention but say I hate it. 24.im in love with my bf but dont wanna be cause i dont wanna get hurt again..and i think he gonna break up wit me cause he said if i dont stop talkin to dis one boy dats only my friend then he gonna break things off wit me..and i wanna make out wit my bf hella bad but i never really get to see him outside of school except on the phone and on the weekends..but thats what my wish is always whenever there is a bulliten on myspace and u get to make a wish 25.i have tried killing myself m0re then 3 times... 26.i have never kissed anyone 27. sometiems i feel like my friends dont caer 28. i like to hurt myself with both cutting and burning and have done it in the last 24 hours 29. i hate you 30. im a cutter 31. i have done "things" for money32. I care about him so much, and he doesn't even know : ( 33. I am the other woman. 34.im scared of everything that will hurt me in some way 35. i have sex with my bf just about everyday..its fun :) 36. i lie a lot 37. Im in love with a man that only thinks of us as bed buddies!!! 38. Im in love with a boy who doesnt even know i exist. 39. 40.I'M IN LOVE WITH ONE OF MY BABY DADDYS AND HE DESON'T LOVE ME BACK!!!
41. i tell people im sxe but im not 42. i hate my friends 43. he doesn't know what he means to me 44. im scared to fall in love again because im afraid of what might happen to the person im in love with 45. i've lost all trust in guys just cause of what one did. 46. Its virtually impossible for me to be monogamous.47. I smoked a cigarette twice before and I used to be a mild drinker. 48. I like him sooo much but he doesnt even know or care 49. I pee in the shower 50.im in love with the boy ive known forever 51. 52.*i starve myself cuz i dont like the way i look and wish i have a differnt body then my own. 53. He's the only one in the world who matters and I'm afraid to tell him. 54. i watch the Real World. 55. i never really loved him 56. 57.I have feelings for this person....his name is spelled out in capital letters in a poem....only two other people know about it...sad thing is...he will never figure it out. 58. I don't believe in god.59. I pretend to smile. 60. My girlfriend gave me an STD. 61.im SO in love, and if i loose him, i'll loose myself 62.I'm in love with my ex still and can't stand seeing her with another guy. 63. i'm allergic to grass haha 64. this is his jersey number. i hope he asks me out. 65. when we kissed i had butterflies for hours... 66. She's obsessed with me, and I hardly feel anything back. Im in love with a guy who is moving away and it hasnt phased him yet what hell be missing. 67. im scared of fans 68. I'm afraid to tell him the truth. 69. there is no connection between me and this special guy 70. i tink 1 of my moms friends daughter was trying to do IT with me but im not sure i was young, about 4 years old 71.I think of him every night before i go to sleep 72.I met the most awesome guy! But I'm scared to get to close cause of what has happened in the past...I hope history doesnt repeat itself and let this be a new beginning! PLEASE! 73. I cheated on my girlfriend. 74. i lied to my x boyfriend about being pregnant and getting an abortion....just so he would want me and pay alot of attention to me.. and to get him back for all the shady she he did to me 75.Leland- Im Afraid Of Being Forgotten (i dont keep secrets from people) 76. I'm still not over him. Even though he cheated on me. 77. I still love him. 78. i eat a lot of candy. 79. been SFD strong for almost two months...anyone want to lend me a gun?? or a boy?????? hehe 80. i am in love with someone, but he has way too many women for me to trust him, and it hurts..and he doesn't know i saw him with her... 81. I like this guy, who goes out with lots of girls..and I barely know him.... 82. I am madly in love with a girl, but she is so far away. 83. i still enjoy little kid movies lol! 84. I still get jealous of my x gf 85.i smoke pot just 2 make myself happy 86. I still like someone i never got the chance to really know, even though i think that person hates me. 87. She told me she loved me. 88. Truth is I never got over you.... 89. im so in love with her its picking me apart and causing me to fail one of my classes 90. I hate my sisters and fuck this guy who eventually is gonna break up with me...i do it to feel wanted 91. im still in love with my x....and i dont think i will ever get over him. 92.I fucked yesterday, and ive nvr felt so good in my effin life!!!!! 93. i can't get over him. 94.i love her still but she has moved on i try to play it off and "act" like i like other girls and flirt w/ other girls but deep down inside i really like her alot ...still 95. My Dad had an affair, I knew but never said anything. 96.i always get fucked over in relationships with girls. 97. I have a girlfriend, and a steady fuckk buddy. 98.i commited a felony and i didn't get caught and it was the same hour as my newphew was born!<33 gueess who sucka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 99. I'm scared to grow up. 100. He doesn't know I'm even alive 101.I wonder if anyone really knows me 102 im more emotional than i appear to be... 103. I am still inlove with someone from my past!!! 104. tried to order human flesh for consumption off the internet and was genuinely dissappointed when i found out it was a hoax. :_( 105. why can't everyone leave me the hell alone;I deserve better thanthe friends and family Ive got.106 107..I fight with myself everyday not to make my self numb again 108 109 I have a large unit.

HEAR A SISTAS CRY FOR HELP!

I know that ALL women don’t feel this way, but I do KNOW that they do feel this way
Some of the times. So to those who don’t feel this way today remember yesterday…

Why are MY insecurities, giving OUR relationship inequities.
Why do we think the same, yet my heart still wont play the game.

When can I learn the “playas tricks”, you know “don’t get giddy over new dick.
When can a sista ask a question, and when its not the answer in their head not think DECEPTION.

Where can a sista get love and joy, without carrying more weight on losing the boy.
Where is there moderation in the middle of my hurricane extremes…
Oh you know I say a bunch of shit, and you say I know what you mean.

What is it that makes me mad at your mistakes, but if I fuck up you know “I can give as well as I can take…(oooh a nigga will leave yo ass on that one TRUST ME)

Let me come out of my mind and speak from the heart…
A lot of the times im not lovin you cause, im too worried about the day we will part.

I cant get into you cause im to afraid of you seeing me.
That shit weighs heavily on a heart, when I see what is cant be.
Cause im campaigning for a breakup.
I’m not P.R. savvy enuff to do a makeup.

So I hope you see my fears and vagueness.
As a sign of love and not strange fits.

Cause im lovin you like a fat girl loves cake.
I’m spinning every time you hold me before the love we make.
Lets call a spade a spade you aint the yen to my yang.
You are the answer to my hearts every pang.

His patience isn’t a virtue…it Is this relationships glue.
Damn! Why can’t a sista understand when he looks at us…
His eyes show, not what he sees…he’s showing us a better you.

I know sometimes we need to check that damn ego…
Cause these are my thoughts, I just woke up two minutes ago.

YOU ARE THE BLESSING

YOU ARE THE BLESSING


I can’t understand why I constantly hear the quote of “it was a blessing that this happened to me”. Your date of birth is your blessing, what you do after that is your choices. The things we do have KARMATIC REPRECUSSIONS IN THEM. Don’t think for a moment that truth DOES NOT have consequences. The LORD does not bless you in your life…
He gave you life and free will…yes I am speaking of that choices thing again. Lets ponder on the things we do and the consequences before we say to the LORD thank you for this blessing. He might take it away if he sees that you can’t figure out that hard work brought this to your life

TRIBUTE PART 2

TRIBUTE...PART 2(you know her...you love her)TO THE MEN...NOT THE MALES!

This picture is why I have FINALLY come with this one...a very long overdue addition to my first tribute.
This pic encapsulates everything that a woman is thoughtful...thought-provoking...and above all beautiful.BTW...thanks Freda for not being mad at me for using this, or at least I hope you are not mad.
So many times I have heard my male co-horts say that "I wish I could understand a woman". Well let's destroy that MYTH...stop saying something because you think that’s what women want to hear. They want us as men to say “because I love you I do understand you". We have been playing roles that have women saying “we are running out of good men". Ladies allow me to speak for myself (for that is the only one I can speak for) and say I have failed you.
Yes that’s it...failed you. I know I failed when i hear that you are in pain and I didn’t come to your rescue...not as your dick...not come to you as a booty call...but step to you as a MAN. Not as a male but as a man. I know there are many men who are guilty of that same childish act, but it is not my place to condemn anyone other than myself. When I remember when I was stupid enough to call women bitches and hoes, I realized those words were better suited for myself. Imprinting is a bitch, using any lie draped under the guise of love to get sex. Damn did I play myself? How many lives did I play with to feed my own ego?
I think that is enough of that...now lets get to how I was able to do that. I knew the thoughts and feelings of a woman. And when I didn’t know I asked.
The myth that has been running rampant is that men don’t communicate. I call to the picture above. How can any man not want to talk to and love a woman when she is like that?
It took a woman to show me love is not in your pants. She has the ability to bring the word BEAUTY to life. Women taught me that “I can’t complete her, she showed up complete".
We as men know what women want...us don’t need a crystal ball to do that. Just listen, be attentive, and above all show them the love they show us. I have seen the most harden-hearted woman melt when she was loved. So that throws the B.S. They don’t want to be loved out of the window.
So men love our women, give them all the love they deserve that means all you have (NO HALF-STEPPIN) and know it is not vertical how you show love it is by your words...your actions backing those words (THATS RIGHT BE TRUTHFUL) up with RESPECT...
Because if you didn’t know she equates love with respect...not the flowers on Valentines Day, ( That doesn’t mean stop giving her flowers though), not the I love you's when you to part(don’t stop doing that either)or get off the phone.
It means be there...accept who she is...praise her positives...help her with her negatives...and remember she needs you to love her...so she can grow, and as she grows so will you.
THANK YOU TO ALL WHO HAVE READ MY BLOG ENTRIES...EVEN IF SOME WERE NOT ON MY SITE (YES I HAVE WRITTEN ON OTHERS BLOGS TO SHOW POEPLE THAT MEN DO KNOW THE THOUGHTS OF WOMEN).
I AM FINISHED WRITING IN THIS CHAPTER...TIME FOR SOMTHING NEW!
SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE OF LOGIC7777

THE DARKER SIDE OF SEX...THE HUNTER

I initially thought of using a picture of SATAN as a fine man dressed in a suit with alluring eyes to start. Then I thought that it might not be needed...
Everything I am about to say is the devil you know or have known.
There are in my experience three types of men women should avoid...I will touch briefly on two but ONE, oh yeah that the motherfucker that needs to be broken down.
1. The Player-we all know him, no need to say much.
2. The Watcher-he is experienced, knowledgeable, well-spoken, and above all he is PRECISION IN MOTION. He understands the human Psyche. He knows that what he wants is the same thing that women want. He presents no game, no lines, and no seduction. He is without smoke and mirrors. He asks for what he wants up front, does not change his mind later. He has learned benevolence and respect. He was a PLAYER. He just saw too much work in it. Too many lies have burned him out and one day he just went up to a lady out of frustration asked for what he wanted, and got it. He was never the same. He left the game.
Now imagine the watcher without benevolence...
That is the HUNTER.
He lacks care, concern, or even guilt. Don’t ever think for a moment he knows how you feel. You are only pussy to him, nothing more, nothing less. He does not think of you EVER. Your phone only rings when his dick gets hard, and you were next in line...THE NEXT PIECE!
He is the ultimate hybrid...part player...part watcher. He is everything you want, and everything that can destroy you. He places you in an abusive relationship, without ever being violent. He makes you be the "BOTTOM BITCH", guess what he is not the pimp, YOU ARE.
He is able to be SUPERMAN WITHOUT KRYPTONITE. No emotions breed what he is no "self awareness". He can’t all he sees is pussy and the procedure of how to get it. So there is nothing you can do to hurt him...rejection does not faze him. One piece says no, twenty will say yes.
So to him, and remember, it is not about your feelings. Hell it is not about your feelings, it is about the hunt. So if you think he does not know what he is doing...WRONG!
He knows, he just doesn’t care. There are no consequences of loss... he has nothing to lose. He, in his mind, is the trophy piece.
So in closing, I did this because I’m TIRED OF ALL THESE HUNTERS. I need to be unseen, but heard. I go on my blog to speak my peace, not get a piece.

WORRY THE OTHER SIN

I HAD TO DO THIS!
Worrying is defined as…
Mental distress or agitation caused by concern. So concern in its extreme position leads to worry. Obviously we are far too concerned…or are we? Is it our concern or is it the things we concern ourselves with?
“Control the things you can” a diluted version of the SERENITY mantra that a fellow peer of mine always used. I heed those words diligently. The past is a faction of our lives we cannot undo yet the majority of our worry is there. Now here is the one I’m more susceptible to, the future. What will I do with this part of my life and that part of my life?
The incessant ramblings in my head can cause a heart attack. Now lets look at the “REALITY”, my past is just that, long gone and never to get back…THANK GOD! I have no future, today is all I have nothing more nothing less. Can I plan for the future? Of course. But worrying gets me nowhere. Can I check myself and not repeat the mistakes of my past? I had better. But in the end its just me and today.
Worrying is regret getting the better of you. It is in its most concentrated form the person you are, battling the person you want to be. I for one to those whom I know as friends in 360 and the world I love the person you are. I appreciate the person you want to be. I will support the person you are trying to correct…that would be yourself.
Now worry, can we see it? Is it the weight we have or the weight we gain because of the weight we know others can see. Is it the way we want to be with someone or is it the way we act because we are not with whom we want to be with. Is it our jobs or the way we act at them because we are not at the career we wish to be in. Those questions speak to an internal battle that I thought our elders “BABY DON’T BOTTLE EVERYTHING UP INSIDE OR YOULL BURST” told us. How many of us burst, knowing full well it was not what we wanted to say or at least not the right time to say it. That is what worry does for you…YOU BECOME THE ENEMY. You betray the one person you should always love…YOURSELF. Because you don’t like you at this moment you seek punishment for your own crimes, instead of trying to rehabilitate yourself. Healing in my opinion starts with a confession to yourself and then to those you love and seek support from. Then YOU can forgive you. SO IS IT CONFESSIONAL TIME?

Reparations

This is getting out of hand…reparations for black America. Reparations…c’mon now. Where are the REAL black people who would say 40 acres and a mule is not going to cut it. Black America needs healing not bling. Healing comes from knowing what is wrong and fixing it, not finding white America guilty of sins. We know what has been done and is being done to this day. There is no silver bullet to slay the DRAGON of Jim Crow, the DEMON of slavery, or last but never least the SPECTRE of oppression that lingers in black America’s everyday life. But lets for the sake of argument try something completely different…free and accessible EDUCATION.


Not the educations we know of today, you know Jordans, Hummers, and Platinum. Lets try real education. You know the kind where our kids go to school all year round. The teachers are not graded by how many pass or fail utilizing a standardize test. You have STANDARDIZE teaching. We all know the child at South Shore High is not receiving the same education as the child at a high school in Kenilworth. Have parents sign contracts that restrict their child from coming home and watching T.V. but having them focused on their studies. And by the way there is a way to do it…give them the dream and the goal. You know state the obvious… Your education is better than a jump shot!
Don’t grow up to Michael Jordan, grow up to be the man who drafted the next Jordan. Become bigger than a game, become a man, not a 40 million dollar slave. That’s right I said a slave. A shell of a man, a caricature, a poster than little kids look up to yet fail to ever become due to the fact you are an anomaly, a fluke. Where are the dreams that say you can be a doctor, lawyer, professor, or even a Pulitzer Prize winning writer? Those have left the building for the next Lebron or Kobe. Never do you hear of the one that says be the next Phil Knight or Warren Buffett. Do we even know who these power brokers are?


So there are reparations that need to be done…education would be one, healing should be first. AND THERE NEEDS TO BE A LOT OF THAT!