YOU SEE WHAT HAPPEN WAS?

It amazes me when someone uses those beautiful responsibility absolving quotes. When is it consciously okay to do something so wrong that the explanation is “one thing led to another” or the graceful “it was in the moment? Its never” I meant to punch you or I wanted to sleep with him or her”. There is a moment in time that we know…this is the moment that I have to stop. Why do we see the ending of so many situations but carelessly venture forth into a horrible ending. The moment of pleasure outweighs the extensive time of pain.


Possibilities, the antithesis of answers, it is truly the unreasonable reasons. One of man’s greatest weaknesses is never admitting what wrong they will do under the right circumstances. We go through life with a moral constitution made of rice paper. Always ready to blame our mistakes on “the moment” all along knowing in their minds they were the architect of the mistake. Truly knowing ones self with an outward admittance has to have benefits. Acting as if “yes I am flawed” and knowing enough to say “these are my flaws.” But there in lies the true flaw, or at least the true reason for not saying it, doesn’t want to take ownership for themselves. Where is the holistic mantra of “keep your mind, body, and spirit healthy? Where is the ownership?


Is it in the cars we drive, the clothes we wear, the homes we live in? Rarely do we see it in our relationships (the divorce rate is a prime example of that) that we have. It damn sure is not in the conditions of our bodies (didn’t know that the morbidly obese would inherit the earth) that we have so freely discounted for the outer skin. It really isn’t in our mental ability (if you can’t decipher this one on your own, you’ve proven my point) that we no longer honor as the real, true, and only frontier. We live as we speak…a contradiction, lacking truth or validity. Speaking in double talk hoping no one ever gets to see our hidden agendas. And a punishment fit for a killer if someone figures it out.


But in the end it really doesn’t matter. We are already on the track to failure…and with one declaration of ownership we could turn it around. That is the tragic part of it all ownership can save us. Not a messiah, not a fitness guru, or even a good relationship with our parents. We need a healthy relationship with ourselves. No one can fix you by telling you what is wrong…HELL why tell you what you already know? But you can have help once you acknowledge the need and desire of change.

SECRETS...

Add your own lil secret to the list. Find a open number and put your secret, but don't put your name so that nobody knows your lil secret!1. im scared to fall in love 2. Sometimes I wish I was the pretty girl. 3. I'm jealous of everyone. 4. I still watch Barny. 5. I always fall for the guys that dont fall back. 6. Hi, im kimi waffles, and im a myspaceaholic. ... 7.I'm so fake it's not even funny. I hate half the people who think I loooove them. 8....and i love matt 9. I fake being sick...A LOT. 10. i hate attachment andi use guys for their bodies instead of them using me...i loooove beating them to the chase...hahaha im going to bad girl hell....plus i have been the "other" girl about 3 times 11. i could be so sad with the biggest smile on my face and the loudest laugh. 12. I have had sex with alot of guys. 13. I love a girl that parents don't approve of.... 14. I'd do anything for him. 15. I HAVE SEX EVERYDAY WITH MY ORECK VACUUMS. 16. I like to be alone because then no one can hurt me!! 17. I steal from my parents. 18. i smoke pot 19.i still l0ve my ex b0yfriend...ahh 20. She said she loved me; and I believed her. 21.im insecure about my looks i think im ugly. 22. I'm willing to lose my virginity to him when the time's right. 23. I like attention but say I hate it. 24.im in love with my bf but dont wanna be cause i dont wanna get hurt again..and i think he gonna break up wit me cause he said if i dont stop talkin to dis one boy dats only my friend then he gonna break things off wit me..and i wanna make out wit my bf hella bad but i never really get to see him outside of school except on the phone and on the weekends..but thats what my wish is always whenever there is a bulliten on myspace and u get to make a wish 25.i have tried killing myself m0re then 3 times... 26.i have never kissed anyone 27. sometiems i feel like my friends dont caer 28. i like to hurt myself with both cutting and burning and have done it in the last 24 hours 29. i hate you 30. im a cutter 31. i have done "things" for money32. I care about him so much, and he doesn't even know : ( 33. I am the other woman. 34.im scared of everything that will hurt me in some way 35. i have sex with my bf just about everyday..its fun :) 36. i lie a lot 37. Im in love with a man that only thinks of us as bed buddies!!! 38. Im in love with a boy who doesnt even know i exist. 39. 40.I'M IN LOVE WITH ONE OF MY BABY DADDYS AND HE DESON'T LOVE ME BACK!!!
41. i tell people im sxe but im not 42. i hate my friends 43. he doesn't know what he means to me 44. im scared to fall in love again because im afraid of what might happen to the person im in love with 45. i've lost all trust in guys just cause of what one did. 46. Its virtually impossible for me to be monogamous.47. I smoked a cigarette twice before and I used to be a mild drinker. 48. I like him sooo much but he doesnt even know or care 49. I pee in the shower 50.im in love with the boy ive known forever 51. 52.*i starve myself cuz i dont like the way i look and wish i have a differnt body then my own. 53. He's the only one in the world who matters and I'm afraid to tell him. 54. i watch the Real World. 55. i never really loved him 56. 57.I have feelings for this person....his name is spelled out in capital letters in a poem....only two other people know about it...sad thing is...he will never figure it out. 58. I don't believe in god.59. I pretend to smile. 60. My girlfriend gave me an STD. 61.im SO in love, and if i loose him, i'll loose myself 62.I'm in love with my ex still and can't stand seeing her with another guy. 63. i'm allergic to grass haha 64. this is his jersey number. i hope he asks me out. 65. when we kissed i had butterflies for hours... 66. She's obsessed with me, and I hardly feel anything back. Im in love with a guy who is moving away and it hasnt phased him yet what hell be missing. 67. im scared of fans 68. I'm afraid to tell him the truth. 69. there is no connection between me and this special guy 70. i tink 1 of my moms friends daughter was trying to do IT with me but im not sure i was young, about 4 years old 71.I think of him every night before i go to sleep 72.I met the most awesome guy! But I'm scared to get to close cause of what has happened in the past...I hope history doesnt repeat itself and let this be a new beginning! PLEASE! 73. I cheated on my girlfriend. 74. i lied to my x boyfriend about being pregnant and getting an abortion....just so he would want me and pay alot of attention to me.. and to get him back for all the shady she he did to me 75.Leland- Im Afraid Of Being Forgotten (i dont keep secrets from people) 76. I'm still not over him. Even though he cheated on me. 77. I still love him. 78. i eat a lot of candy. 79. been SFD strong for almost two months...anyone want to lend me a gun?? or a boy?????? hehe 80. i am in love with someone, but he has way too many women for me to trust him, and it hurts..and he doesn't know i saw him with her... 81. I like this guy, who goes out with lots of girls..and I barely know him.... 82. I am madly in love with a girl, but she is so far away. 83. i still enjoy little kid movies lol! 84. I still get jealous of my x gf 85.i smoke pot just 2 make myself happy 86. I still like someone i never got the chance to really know, even though i think that person hates me. 87. She told me she loved me. 88. Truth is I never got over you.... 89. im so in love with her its picking me apart and causing me to fail one of my classes 90. I hate my sisters and fuck this guy who eventually is gonna break up with me...i do it to feel wanted 91. im still in love with my x....and i dont think i will ever get over him. 92.I fucked yesterday, and ive nvr felt so good in my effin life!!!!! 93. i can't get over him. 94.i love her still but she has moved on i try to play it off and "act" like i like other girls and flirt w/ other girls but deep down inside i really like her alot ...still 95. My Dad had an affair, I knew but never said anything. 96.i always get fucked over in relationships with girls. 97. I have a girlfriend, and a steady fuckk buddy. 98.i commited a felony and i didn't get caught and it was the same hour as my newphew was born!<33 gueess who sucka!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 99. I'm scared to grow up. 100. He doesn't know I'm even alive 101.I wonder if anyone really knows me 102 im more emotional than i appear to be... 103. I am still inlove with someone from my past!!! 104. tried to order human flesh for consumption off the internet and was genuinely dissappointed when i found out it was a hoax. :_( 105. why can't everyone leave me the hell alone;I deserve better thanthe friends and family Ive got.106 107..I fight with myself everyday not to make my self numb again 108 109 I have a large unit.

HEAR A SISTAS CRY FOR HELP!

I know that ALL women don’t feel this way, but I do KNOW that they do feel this way
Some of the times. So to those who don’t feel this way today remember yesterday…

Why are MY insecurities, giving OUR relationship inequities.
Why do we think the same, yet my heart still wont play the game.

When can I learn the “playas tricks”, you know “don’t get giddy over new dick.
When can a sista ask a question, and when its not the answer in their head not think DECEPTION.

Where can a sista get love and joy, without carrying more weight on losing the boy.
Where is there moderation in the middle of my hurricane extremes…
Oh you know I say a bunch of shit, and you say I know what you mean.

What is it that makes me mad at your mistakes, but if I fuck up you know “I can give as well as I can take…(oooh a nigga will leave yo ass on that one TRUST ME)

Let me come out of my mind and speak from the heart…
A lot of the times im not lovin you cause, im too worried about the day we will part.

I cant get into you cause im to afraid of you seeing me.
That shit weighs heavily on a heart, when I see what is cant be.
Cause im campaigning for a breakup.
I’m not P.R. savvy enuff to do a makeup.

So I hope you see my fears and vagueness.
As a sign of love and not strange fits.

Cause im lovin you like a fat girl loves cake.
I’m spinning every time you hold me before the love we make.
Lets call a spade a spade you aint the yen to my yang.
You are the answer to my hearts every pang.

His patience isn’t a virtue…it Is this relationships glue.
Damn! Why can’t a sista understand when he looks at us…
His eyes show, not what he sees…he’s showing us a better you.

I know sometimes we need to check that damn ego…
Cause these are my thoughts, I just woke up two minutes ago.

YOU ARE THE BLESSING

YOU ARE THE BLESSING


I can’t understand why I constantly hear the quote of “it was a blessing that this happened to me”. Your date of birth is your blessing, what you do after that is your choices. The things we do have KARMATIC REPRECUSSIONS IN THEM. Don’t think for a moment that truth DOES NOT have consequences. The LORD does not bless you in your life…
He gave you life and free will…yes I am speaking of that choices thing again. Lets ponder on the things we do and the consequences before we say to the LORD thank you for this blessing. He might take it away if he sees that you can’t figure out that hard work brought this to your life

TRIBUTE PART 2

TRIBUTE...PART 2(you know her...you love her)TO THE MEN...NOT THE MALES!

This picture is why I have FINALLY come with this one...a very long overdue addition to my first tribute.
This pic encapsulates everything that a woman is thoughtful...thought-provoking...and above all beautiful.BTW...thanks Freda for not being mad at me for using this, or at least I hope you are not mad.
So many times I have heard my male co-horts say that "I wish I could understand a woman". Well let's destroy that MYTH...stop saying something because you think that’s what women want to hear. They want us as men to say “because I love you I do understand you". We have been playing roles that have women saying “we are running out of good men". Ladies allow me to speak for myself (for that is the only one I can speak for) and say I have failed you.
Yes that’s it...failed you. I know I failed when i hear that you are in pain and I didn’t come to your rescue...not as your dick...not come to you as a booty call...but step to you as a MAN. Not as a male but as a man. I know there are many men who are guilty of that same childish act, but it is not my place to condemn anyone other than myself. When I remember when I was stupid enough to call women bitches and hoes, I realized those words were better suited for myself. Imprinting is a bitch, using any lie draped under the guise of love to get sex. Damn did I play myself? How many lives did I play with to feed my own ego?
I think that is enough of that...now lets get to how I was able to do that. I knew the thoughts and feelings of a woman. And when I didn’t know I asked.
The myth that has been running rampant is that men don’t communicate. I call to the picture above. How can any man not want to talk to and love a woman when she is like that?
It took a woman to show me love is not in your pants. She has the ability to bring the word BEAUTY to life. Women taught me that “I can’t complete her, she showed up complete".
We as men know what women want...us don’t need a crystal ball to do that. Just listen, be attentive, and above all show them the love they show us. I have seen the most harden-hearted woman melt when she was loved. So that throws the B.S. They don’t want to be loved out of the window.
So men love our women, give them all the love they deserve that means all you have (NO HALF-STEPPIN) and know it is not vertical how you show love it is by your words...your actions backing those words (THATS RIGHT BE TRUTHFUL) up with RESPECT...
Because if you didn’t know she equates love with respect...not the flowers on Valentines Day, ( That doesn’t mean stop giving her flowers though), not the I love you's when you to part(don’t stop doing that either)or get off the phone.
It means be there...accept who she is...praise her positives...help her with her negatives...and remember she needs you to love her...so she can grow, and as she grows so will you.
THANK YOU TO ALL WHO HAVE READ MY BLOG ENTRIES...EVEN IF SOME WERE NOT ON MY SITE (YES I HAVE WRITTEN ON OTHERS BLOGS TO SHOW POEPLE THAT MEN DO KNOW THE THOUGHTS OF WOMEN).
I AM FINISHED WRITING IN THIS CHAPTER...TIME FOR SOMTHING NEW!
SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE OF LOGIC7777

THE DARKER SIDE OF SEX...THE HUNTER

I initially thought of using a picture of SATAN as a fine man dressed in a suit with alluring eyes to start. Then I thought that it might not be needed...
Everything I am about to say is the devil you know or have known.
There are in my experience three types of men women should avoid...I will touch briefly on two but ONE, oh yeah that the motherfucker that needs to be broken down.
1. The Player-we all know him, no need to say much.
2. The Watcher-he is experienced, knowledgeable, well-spoken, and above all he is PRECISION IN MOTION. He understands the human Psyche. He knows that what he wants is the same thing that women want. He presents no game, no lines, and no seduction. He is without smoke and mirrors. He asks for what he wants up front, does not change his mind later. He has learned benevolence and respect. He was a PLAYER. He just saw too much work in it. Too many lies have burned him out and one day he just went up to a lady out of frustration asked for what he wanted, and got it. He was never the same. He left the game.
Now imagine the watcher without benevolence...
That is the HUNTER.
He lacks care, concern, or even guilt. Don’t ever think for a moment he knows how you feel. You are only pussy to him, nothing more, nothing less. He does not think of you EVER. Your phone only rings when his dick gets hard, and you were next in line...THE NEXT PIECE!
He is the ultimate hybrid...part player...part watcher. He is everything you want, and everything that can destroy you. He places you in an abusive relationship, without ever being violent. He makes you be the "BOTTOM BITCH", guess what he is not the pimp, YOU ARE.
He is able to be SUPERMAN WITHOUT KRYPTONITE. No emotions breed what he is no "self awareness". He can’t all he sees is pussy and the procedure of how to get it. So there is nothing you can do to hurt him...rejection does not faze him. One piece says no, twenty will say yes.
So to him, and remember, it is not about your feelings. Hell it is not about your feelings, it is about the hunt. So if you think he does not know what he is doing...WRONG!
He knows, he just doesn’t care. There are no consequences of loss... he has nothing to lose. He, in his mind, is the trophy piece.
So in closing, I did this because I’m TIRED OF ALL THESE HUNTERS. I need to be unseen, but heard. I go on my blog to speak my peace, not get a piece.

WORRY THE OTHER SIN

I HAD TO DO THIS!
Worrying is defined as…
Mental distress or agitation caused by concern. So concern in its extreme position leads to worry. Obviously we are far too concerned…or are we? Is it our concern or is it the things we concern ourselves with?
“Control the things you can” a diluted version of the SERENITY mantra that a fellow peer of mine always used. I heed those words diligently. The past is a faction of our lives we cannot undo yet the majority of our worry is there. Now here is the one I’m more susceptible to, the future. What will I do with this part of my life and that part of my life?
The incessant ramblings in my head can cause a heart attack. Now lets look at the “REALITY”, my past is just that, long gone and never to get back…THANK GOD! I have no future, today is all I have nothing more nothing less. Can I plan for the future? Of course. But worrying gets me nowhere. Can I check myself and not repeat the mistakes of my past? I had better. But in the end its just me and today.
Worrying is regret getting the better of you. It is in its most concentrated form the person you are, battling the person you want to be. I for one to those whom I know as friends in 360 and the world I love the person you are. I appreciate the person you want to be. I will support the person you are trying to correct…that would be yourself.
Now worry, can we see it? Is it the weight we have or the weight we gain because of the weight we know others can see. Is it the way we want to be with someone or is it the way we act because we are not with whom we want to be with. Is it our jobs or the way we act at them because we are not at the career we wish to be in. Those questions speak to an internal battle that I thought our elders “BABY DON’T BOTTLE EVERYTHING UP INSIDE OR YOULL BURST” told us. How many of us burst, knowing full well it was not what we wanted to say or at least not the right time to say it. That is what worry does for you…YOU BECOME THE ENEMY. You betray the one person you should always love…YOURSELF. Because you don’t like you at this moment you seek punishment for your own crimes, instead of trying to rehabilitate yourself. Healing in my opinion starts with a confession to yourself and then to those you love and seek support from. Then YOU can forgive you. SO IS IT CONFESSIONAL TIME?

Reparations

This is getting out of hand…reparations for black America. Reparations…c’mon now. Where are the REAL black people who would say 40 acres and a mule is not going to cut it. Black America needs healing not bling. Healing comes from knowing what is wrong and fixing it, not finding white America guilty of sins. We know what has been done and is being done to this day. There is no silver bullet to slay the DRAGON of Jim Crow, the DEMON of slavery, or last but never least the SPECTRE of oppression that lingers in black America’s everyday life. But lets for the sake of argument try something completely different…free and accessible EDUCATION.


Not the educations we know of today, you know Jordans, Hummers, and Platinum. Lets try real education. You know the kind where our kids go to school all year round. The teachers are not graded by how many pass or fail utilizing a standardize test. You have STANDARDIZE teaching. We all know the child at South Shore High is not receiving the same education as the child at a high school in Kenilworth. Have parents sign contracts that restrict their child from coming home and watching T.V. but having them focused on their studies. And by the way there is a way to do it…give them the dream and the goal. You know state the obvious… Your education is better than a jump shot!
Don’t grow up to Michael Jordan, grow up to be the man who drafted the next Jordan. Become bigger than a game, become a man, not a 40 million dollar slave. That’s right I said a slave. A shell of a man, a caricature, a poster than little kids look up to yet fail to ever become due to the fact you are an anomaly, a fluke. Where are the dreams that say you can be a doctor, lawyer, professor, or even a Pulitzer Prize winning writer? Those have left the building for the next Lebron or Kobe. Never do you hear of the one that says be the next Phil Knight or Warren Buffett. Do we even know who these power brokers are?


So there are reparations that need to be done…education would be one, healing should be first. AND THERE NEEDS TO BE A LOT OF THAT!

AND YOU DONT KNOW ME YET

You Are 8% Abnormal
You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul. You are at low risk for having a borderline personality. It is unlikely that you are a chaotic mess.You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

ROLL CALL

They said it could be
A rush of failure all over me
Eclipsing hope with the blackness of a heart
Finding pleasure in the way lovers part
Free fallin’ not looking forward to the sudden stop
In an avant-garde jazz mood, all I find is pop
Can’t a sister find a package in its totality
Fellas, the “package” in your pants is your perception, not my reality
Friends fallin’ to the wayside…fuckers broke code
Put my ass in a Hunter’s mode
Can’t quite get it, men being a boy, women, being a girl
Fuck all is fair in “love and war”…all is “fair in the world”
Can’t find Leaders…hell, can’t create one
Too busy being fake, makin’ followers to get your bullshit done
Tired of seeing the “impossible” being “possible”, the drama is evermore
Don’t wish to be “Neo”…I’m “Morpheus” with confidence; I’ll kick the Machines Ass….
And win the war

LOVE ME SOME CAPITALISM

Damn, a new way for people to connect…again. We can complain about politics, social ills, and gas prices. Oh yeah gas prices… $ 2.73 is the cheapest I can find in the burbs.
Let’s play a game, is the gas killing us? Could it be the fact that the mode of transportation has not evolved since the inception of the model-t. “Damn I am getting me a hybrid” I have heard many say. A good alternative, except most still takes gas. So what is the answer? Make these car makers quit getting paid with a product that is sub-standard. I saw a commercial where a woman said to get clean air would she give up her car. SHE SAID NO! I can’t breathe, but hey I can still get to the mall. I love our priorities.

LOGIC VS. EMOTIONS

I have a very hard time understanding logic vs. emotions. I had this situation where I hear people ripping others, a couple of times they ripped previous mates. So in another day I ripped someone’s previous mate…punishment. Cut off and immediately was admonished in a way I still can not comprehend. You can’t talk about who I have been with only I can do that! Why? It’s my experience, not yours! So if I go to school and learn the chemical breakdown of H2O and tell you can you tell someone? That’s different! Both situations revolve around information…if you don’t want someone to use that info…don’t say it.

SOMETHING ON MY MIND

I’ve grown so weary of so many things and my questions have been many. However......................................
My assumptions have taken the best of me. So, simply put I’m going to speak on FRAUD. It is amazing that the people who crack jokes about our politicians are smarter and have better ideas than the politicians themselves. What is more amazing we aren’t smart enough to either vote them in or take their ideas and run with them.

ITS BEEN ON MY MIND

I’ve been wondering some things so here they are…
In the Garden of Eden Eve and Adam gave in to temptation from a serpent which in church has been identified as the devil or Satan.
However I also have been informed that Satan is a fallen angel…hmmm.
If this is true I am confused…if Satan was a angel…we all have been told that an angel is a human brought to heaven to serve God…does that mean there were people on earth before Adam and Eve?

A THOUGHT I HAD AFTER READING ANOTHER BLOG

My response to another blog about kirk franklin
First thing first... The Ghost In The Machine wishes to chime in.The only reason anyone is talking about this is Kirk Franklin as Dave Chappelle said HE'S RICH BITCH!So it is about his money.Also he is not addicted to porn,if he was he would be broke, left his wife(or she would have left him)and he would not have gone on Oprah because he would still have his dick in his hand watching porn. The young lady was very correct...nothing like the real thing.So true, however the real thing has a body, a brain, a mouth(Nothing hurts like your mouth)and nowadays more shit than we want to put up with.So porn is that moment when we cant stand to be with someone we have already made bad decisions in order to be with. Now as for "secular gospel or religion",a euphemism for let's do shit we have already been doing yet have been passing judgement on others for doing the exact same thing.Religion needs some secular points of views in order for it to survive. Because if the christian right keeps the bible thumpin goats in sheep's clothing telling people to go to church live right and above all do what the rich is telling you to do. Someone is going to come around with a new religion(you know a cult with credibility)and flip this whole script by removing money,race,sexual orientation,sexual gender...oh and above all religion.And replace it with God, love, honor,and spirituality.So, in closing good for Kirk Franklin...be addicted to porn, admit it, if he thinks its wrong so be it.You have every right to feel that way...its your opinion.Testify to your mistake, that is a good thing. But until you can say you have spoken with God(He hasnt no one has and I cannot stand when people mistake God with their moral code which starts at birth and develops through experience)you cannot tell me what is good for me unless it harms you.The Ghost is signing off.

YOU ARE NOT AN ORIGINAL

Today something very odd occurred… I was read by a young lady (25 years old to be exact). She described me to the letter. Originally I felt funny trying to duck and dodge her thoughts of me. Some were negative and others were positive, but all were pretty accurate. Damn! Is she my soul mate? Nothing of the sort, she just read me. I had to ask her how she knew me so well…hell she did not know my last name. She told me something that I have to get off my chest. Oh you remind me of my father!!!!!!!!!!
Now initially my ego was a little damaged but then I paid attention. She had previous encounters with someone that was like me. Now let’s look at that. If I see a duck and I see something similar to it I know it is a duck.
Now for my point when we run across people who remind us of someone we have known in our past. Why when we say hey you think like this, you act like this, and a lot of times you are like this. They have a damn hissy fit…YOU DON’T KNOW ME …
OR MY FAVORITE…ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME. Well today the role of God was portrayed by a fellow co-worker…and she was much better than that BRUCE ALMIGHTY guy.

THIS IS PRECIOUS TO ME

This has always been a hard thing for me to do but I must share this...my love for MUSIC!
Everytime I hear this song I get harden up to deal with the perils of my day.
Still looking for my Kate Bush though.
Damn this was Peter Gabriel showing the women of the world we dont have it all together and we need them. Yes I said it...need them...cant make it... do it...or be it without them.
Every good quarterback needs a cheerleader.

DONT GIVE UP
in this proud land we grew up strongwe were wanted all alongI was taught to fight, taught to winI never thought I could failno fight left or so it seemsI am a man whose dreams have all desertedI've changed my face, I've changed my namebut no one wants you when you losedon't give up'cos you have friendsdon't give upyou're not beaten yetdon't give upI know you can make it goodthough I saw it all aroundnever thought I could be affectedthought that we'd be the last to goit is so strange the way things turndrove the night toward my homethe place that I was born, on the lakesideas daylight broke, I saw the earththe trees had burned down to the grounddon't give upyou still have usdon't give upwe don't need much of anythingdon't give up'cause somewhere there's a placewhere we belongrest your headyou worry too muchit's going to be alrightwhen times get roughyou can fall back on usdon't give upplease don't give up'got to walk out of hereI can't take anymoregoing to stand on that bridgekeep my eyes down belowwhatever may comeand whatever may gothat river's flowingthat river's flowingmoved on to another towntried hard to settle downfor every job, so many menso many men no-one needsdon't give up'cause you have friendsdon't give upyou're not the only onedon't give upno reason to be ashameddon't give upyou still have usdon't give up nowwe're proud of who you aredon't give upyou know it's never been easydon't give up'cause I believe there's the a placethere's a place where we belong

MY TRIBUTE...

This is long overdue (at least from me that is) a tribute that will have more than one part.
It needs more than one part. My tribute is to women. In my mind, the creator, the Alpha, the strength when you have none, the backup plan when yours fail or worse when you cant think of one.
To me women are the reason the world is in the state we are in, or least their response to the worlds, mistakes that is. I remember one of the Men In Black movies where Rosario Dawson’s character had the power to change the very state of the weather with her emotions. This was not because she was an alien to me. It was a metaphor as to how the ol sayin is “if mama aint happy no one is happy”. That is the power god has entrusted women with. You are the barometer of the world. You are the true catalyst of change.

I cannot ever encapsulate in words your strength…hell to be honest I do not believe a women can be pushed to her limits…she has none. How can a creator of life have limits?
You defy the perception of beauty while shattering the belief of individuality. What else can be the same yet rarely ever have a twin in looks, spirit or thought. You are everything, yet one of a kind.

Because of you I am. You created me at birth and you made me a man…I would have stayed a boy had you not made me want to be with you. For the desire to be with you I had to “Bring My A Game” and when I could not you pushed me to with threat of you better or game over. I love, cherish, think, and feel because of the example you set.

FOR THAT I THANK, PRAISE, AND LIFT YOU UP…TO ME YOU ARE MY RELIGION, MY GOD, AND MY ALL…FOR THERE IS NOTHING WITHOUT YOU!


PART 1

YOU LIKE ME...YOU REALLY LIKE ME

I have thought about this for quite some time now…so it is time to do the unthinkable.
Lets bare my soul. I have read many a blog, email, and letter about acceptance and I must say someone is either lying or here is the reason we lack connection, continuity, or as I like to call it flow. I am very guilty of this quote” SO WHAT IF YOU DO NOT LIKE ME”. Allow me to presuppose that many of you reading this feel the same way. But is that a quote, a credo, or is it pseudo-bravado rearing its ugly head. The reality is that there is no way that everyone can like you, or ever love you. But are we being truthful in our statements of independence, or our chants of ambivalence to people not being on the same page as we are. Somewhere in our spirit we must long for that connection that goes beyond our “INNER CIRCLE” I know for myself I long for that “uber-connection”.
So for me I appreciate those I connect with even though I come off as if “ I DON’T NEED YOU”. The fact is I do. That is a discovery I don’t mind. Hell I wish to embrace it. Wouldn’t we feel better knowing the “safety net” is bigger if we had more loved ones to fall back on? I want that communal environment that I hear many people showing disdain for. So I guess what I’m really trying to say is I wish, I long for a bigger connection of people to interact with, talk to, and love (all love is not in our pants). Seeking that maybe the final frontier that we all talk about.


AINT THAT HOW GOD PLANNED IT?!

YOU CANT FIX STUPID

This one I had to write because in a previous blog someone commented that we couldn’t fix everything. When did the impossibilities supercede the possibilities? I didn’t get the memo on that one. I once told an employee that was flustered due to a mistake that a “mistake is only a mistake when you cant fix it”, now what cant be fix? What obstacle can’t be overcome? When did we become resolute in our shortcomings? If we accept one the slippery slope takes over and we will have more of the things in our present day that cripple us.



The credo to live by…well maybe. What is impossible is only that way by the lack of trying. Eventually we all must become a fixer. By either the internal corrections required so that we can have the life we desire or through a social or cultural change. You may not be able to fix stupid, but can you change some of the stupid things we do. I believe that we can fix anything…we just don’t want to.



The acceptance of mediocrity and the self-resolution of “the same ol’ same ol’” has us in a stranglehold. When does the “like attracting like” come into play? When do the good or at least the good intended like minds come together and fix the things we talk about at work, at home, on our blogs, or even in our minds.

YOU ARE THE BLESSING

I can’t understand why I constantly hear the quote of “it was a blessing that this happened to me”. Your date of birth is your blessing, what you do after that is your choices. The things we do have KARMATIC REPRECUSSIONS IN THEM. Don’t think for a moment that truth DOES NOT have consequences. The LORD does not bless you in your life…
He gave you life and free will…yes I am speaking of that choices thing again. Lets ponder on the things we do and the consequences before we say to the LORD thank you for this blessing. He might take it away if he sees that you can’t figure out that hard work brought this to your life.

Hello To Myself

Hi Gene,
How are you? I wanted to pass on some wisdom that you need to know.
Looking back I wish I knew this...
1. Get off your butt, cut off the t.v.,read a book.
2. A degree does not validate your existance, but start going back to school now.
3. Go to church.
4. Her death was not your fault, quit blaming yourself you are not that powerful.
5. Kiss her.
6. Do not go down that street...danger!
7. Let people in more...or you will be what you see before you.
8. Dont be so damn judgemental, why... see #7.
9. Tell her no, walk away.
10. Fear is a tool and an obstacle, learn the difference before you are 28.
11. Sing!
12. Stop telling people your weaknesses, or at least stop telling the wrong people that.
13. He is in pain, he is not angry at you.
14. Everybody uses each other...but this bitch is abusing you.
15. Never go back to something you have left...that is called moving backwards...not correcting a mistake.
16. Never experiment in your 30's if you didnt do it in your 20's you missed the boat.
17. You dont know everything, but you do know more than people around you let you know.
18. Reason is the happy medium between negative and positive extremes... live in the reason, not in the moment...because if you dont die there is another moment coming.
19. Dont use the word LOVE in vain it makes you come off small if the truth comes out.
20. Never fear the truth...in the end that's all you have.

Denial Run Amuck

Imagine for a moment you are sitting at home can’t get a date. You don’t mind you have your video RPG. She is strong, dominate, and you picked her. OK to the masses you are a geek. It is obvious is it not? Or is it? Was it the game or the fact you can’t get a date that is the litmus test for the conclusion. Surprise! It is not the date. It is the game that has you in that group that is so frowned upon. However, lets look in another world shall we.


You are 200 pounds 6 ft tall 12% body fat and you have women beating down your door. Oh did I mention that you engage in fantasy football. Or did I forget that you also do fantasy baseball. Oh sorry, I forgot you play the season version of Madden every year as well. You always get the next years version, never forgetting to challenge your other geeky friends to a match on the weekends.


Oh denial, such a dangerous thing.

One reason we are...

Hello To You
Whomever you are at this time.


I decided to write this in an effort to create flow. Flow for many is one thing or another, in this case flow is balance. Balance can not be achieved without some type of truth. Without it factors in an equation can not come to an end. There will always be unbalance due to factors not divulged. As a matter of fact, a flowchart without all factors being considered will never end.

What I have stated is what is wrong with us. Our words do not match our conscience, nor do they match our acts. So, in turn we are where we are now. We are visual shells of our selves. All because of our symptoms of fear (one of which is deception or lies) our families are dysfunctional. Our marriages end in divorce. Our friends are not trustworthy.
Our government is corrupt.

All of these things, and many other I did not name, have diluted our way of life. For those dilutions we are not living. We are playing keep away. To keep my pseudo-spirit I must keep my feelings away from you. I must keep my thoughts from you. And most of all, I must keep my guard up. If these things are not done, you will see my flaws. You will judge me. You will betray me. If you won’t do that, will you lift me up? Will you reach out to me as my brother or my sister?

Flaws are normal. Or should I say human? We are becoming what we fear. We are becoming our flaws. Instead of confronting them, we are trying to hide them. Praying that no one will see them, we judge people in the hopes that will make us feel better.

So if this will come to any positive conclusion, I need to say this. I’m a liar. I’m not everything I should be. I am not truthful with the people I love. I play keep away with them.

Why? You will judge me. You will tear me down. I need your help, your advice, and your spirit. But, will you think that I will not listen? Judge you; tear you down just to make you feel better. That is the question that we fight with everyday. Why do we fight?
Can I help you? Maybe with some things I can. Can you help me? Maybe with some things you can.

But will we stop fighting and start trying.